Redfin files: Unparalleled Luxury

"Discover unparalleled luxury" began the description, and continued, "This magnificent property offers an extraordinary living experience, perfectly blending sophisticated design with ultimate comfort..."

I once thought myself hardened to the exaggerations of my fellow property owners, and was chastened today.

From the photos in the listing, each room appears to be painted a different, bright and cheery primary color. There is an accessible elevator in the part of the house that has a second floor (genuine thumbs up here). There is a refrigerator in the walk-in pantry. And, of course, the laundry room contains the epigram "bitches be shopping" artfully written on the wall; an astute and humorous observation of the highest culture.

These are the most luxurious aspects of the property listing.