Out with a kneecap

(open letter to Bill Simmons, the Sports Guy)


Okay, okay, you've received a trillion e-mails about this already, but seriously? You asked us not to forward the paragraph on Blake Griffin from your NBA preview if he's rolling around holding his right ankle in 3 weeks, and barely more than **3 days** later he's out with a left kneecap?! After you've been joking about this for months, what can you do to make it up to the sixteen remaining true San Diego Clippers fans? (Note: to me, they will always be the San Diego Clippers, because you can take the team out of San Diego, but you can't take San Diego out of the team)

Zach and Miri Make a Porno (2008)

The film starts out badly; the opening scenes in their apartment, going to work, at work, and going to the HS reunion are uncomically dreadfully written and Rogen and Banks can't elevate the material.  I was ready to shut it off, but then the character of Brandon appears at the reunion and everything suddenly starts to click.  Justin Long saves this movie with a cameo!

In the scene where Zach and Miri "do it" for the first time, Smith does a good job of showing the difference between the experience for the people "making love" and the experience the people watching, and contrasting that with prior scenes showing people simply "having sex" for the camera.

Whoever selected the soundtrack deserves some praise; Fett's Vette is a perfect choice during the "Star Whores" montage, and the sequence where Blondie's "Dreaming" is followed by a clip of DMX's "Party Up" (while they're dancing at the cast party), followed by the Pixies' "Hey" (as the party is winding down) is inspired.  Moreover, as Zack and Stacey go back to his room, the pacing, staging, and look on Elizabeth Banks' face perfectly wrap up this section of the story.

Watchmen (2009)

Finally got around to seeing the film now that it's out on DVD, and frankly I'm glad we didn't hire a babysitter so we could go see it in the theater.  The opening credit sequence is outstanding; it both looks great and gives you snapshots of the Watchmen's alternate Earth history.  I was into it for the first half hour or so, and then it begins to lose steam, and by the hour mark I'm glancing at the time and wondering why they've added scenes of Nixon's war room and seem to have added a subplot in which the U.S. is going to make a preemptive nuclear strike on the USSR.  There's already more material in the comic book than you can fit into a 2 1/2 hour movie.  We'll go back to Val Goldman's advice to the Goldman Girls in the Birdcage when they're redecorating the place for Senator Keeley's visit: "Don't add; just subtract!"  Tweaking in the name of clarity for the viewer (especially with the viewer who is unfamiliar wit the comic) is fine; while I liked the alien Veidt built in the comics, I'm cool with the changes there.  I have more problems with Rorschach spending a single day in jail because they've compressed the timeline too much; I have serious problems with adding subplots that don't contribute to the story.


In my personal notes after first reading the comic I wrote: "The medium is used to great effect in the telling of Dr. Manhattan's backstory, which is told from in a thematic, rather than chronological, succession of images/text that would be bulky in purely written form and possibly too jarring in a motion picture."  They tried their best in the film (and Billy Crudup is great in anything), but it's still better in the comic.  That really goes for everything about the film.

the Duchess (2008)

Sometimes the Netflix movie descriptions are highly misleading, and such is the case here.  Netflix describes Georgiana as "a young duchess who indulges in extravagant vices and begins a scandalous affair with politician Charles Grey".  Sounds pretty trashy, and we almost didn't add it to the queue, so we were pleasantly surprised when it was a satisfying, if unexceptional, period piece.  


I highly recommend browsing the Wikipedia entry on Georgiana Cavendish and the links to others in her life -- knowing that Charles Grey later becomes the second Earl Grey after his father is elevated to the peerage and and then the Prime Minister helps to put some of the events in perspective.  Also, the "meat" of the story takes place in the wake of the American colonial rebellion but prior to the Napoleonic Wars.  It also exposes some of the historical liberties they've taken; for instance, Charles Grey was seven years younger than Georgiana (you go, girl!), so he would have been about 10 years old in the scene at the beginning of the film (which actually would have been better, IMO).  Likewise, William Cavendish was "only" 9 years older than Georgiana, so he would have been about 26 at the beginning of the film, instead of 46 and looking like he's 50 in that wig.


Yes, reading Amanda Foreman's Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire, would probably be better than the Wikipedia entries, but I haven't gotten to that yet.

the Thursday Next series (Fforde, Jasper)

I actually tore through Jasper Fforde's "Thursday Next" novels, starting with the "Eyre Affair", last year, but never posted anything. This must be rectified!  The following are my notes on each book:


The Eyre affair : a novel  (Fforde, Jasper)  2001  4/17/2008 

It's sort of a Sue Grafton meets the Bronte sisters meets Terry Pratchett meets Lemony Snicket in an alternate history Britain. I wouldn't say he's a great writer, but very good and very funny with a lot of good literary references that delight the book snob in me.  The eventual "solution" to defeating Acheron's supernatural protections is weak, and there are certain sections of the book where the narrative drags, but Fforde otherwise delivers an incredibly enjoyable read full of "high culture becomes pop culture".

Lost in a Good Book (Fforde, Jasper)  2002  5/21/2008  
More of the same from Fforde's heroine Thursday Next; it's all about the journey and not the destination, but the material remains fresh and it's a fun ride.



The Well of Lost Plots (Fforde, Jasper)  2003  5/27/2008   
The third novel in the Thursday Next series is the payoff on being patient with all the changes introduced in book 2.  Fforde has given Thursday entirely new worlds to explore, and he does a fantastic job in certain chapters of writing in the style of the "type" of book in which the action is taking place.  I'm coming to believe that the purpose of a good western liberal arts education is to be able to read and enjoy the Thursday Next novels without referring to Wikipedia.  Reasonable grounding in popular culture doesn't hurt, either.  


Something Rotten (Fforde, Jasper)  2004  6/9/2008  
My favorite in the series so far.  The purpose of the first three Thursday Next novels is to get to this one.


First Among Sequels (Fforde, Jasper)  2007  6/15/2008  
The Thursday Next series has now reached a point where it's distracting to have to read numerous passages that were written for earlier books but are included here for morons who decide to read the series out of order... or perhaps for the senile, who can't remember a few years later what the Chronoguard is.  With all such redundancies removed, the book might not top 300 pages, but what there is of the new stuff is great, as usual.

Audiosurf album "review" : Violator (1990) Depeche Mode

The 80's and my secondary schooling have come to an end, and Depeche Mode in specializing in 4-6 minute, medium traffic tracks.  There are no "great" rides here, but Waiting for the Night, Blue Dress, Clean, and Enjoy the Silence (in that order) are good for practice when you're new to Pointman Elite.

1. World in My Eyes -- Time 4:26 -- Traffic 233
   The only song that cracks 200 traffic on the album, it starts off herky-jerky on that initial uphill run, then suddenly the blocks seem to come out of nowhere and you're fighting the track rather than riding it, and there are little fits and starts throughout.  Mildly exhausting and unsatisfying for a song that is otherwise fun outside Audiosurf.
   
   
   
   
2. Sweetest Perfection -- Time 4:43 -- Traffic 190
   Not as interesting a song, but it's a better ride than World in My Eyes.  It's smoother; there's still enough traffic to keep you on your toes, but not a lot of traffic on the final downhill run so you're not overwhelmed.
   
   
   
   
3. Personal Jesus -- Time 4:56 -- Traffic 162
   Very surprised at first that is an uphill track; I'd always thought of it as having a driving beat, and it does, but it's very deliberate and not fast.  There's almost too much time at the end; I kept thinking the song was about to come to a close, but no, we're reaching out to touch faith again.
   
   
   
   
4. Halo -- Time 4:30 -- Traffic 155
   I ran through this track 5 times and still don't have a good read on it.  Twice I didn't clean finish because the uphill part at the end came before I expected it and had leftover yellow and red blocks because that uphill bit is too short to have any yellows or reds.  Twice I finished clean but didn't score very many points along the way.  I don't remember enjoying the song along the way on any run -- I was too focused on the track, which is weird, because it's not high traffic or downhill.
   
   
   
   
5. Waiting for the Night -- Time 6:07 -- Traffic 75
   Slow, uphill, and sparse, this is an exercise in patience and planning, and perfect for practicing, especially when you first try out Pointman, and especially on Elite.  There's time to place blocks just how you like, and you can practice getting chain bonuses and 21-block matches.  Fun for "cerebral" players.
   
   
   
   
6. Enjoy the Silence -- Time 6:12 -- Traffic 171
   A good downhill practice track because it has has uphill runs at the beginning, allowing you to get set up before the downhill run, and at the end, allowing you to correct any mistakes and finish clean.  Good luck getting into the top 10, because it's popular.  Worse, most people in the top 10 seem to be playing some version other than the album track, and I can't tell whether that's just because that's the version most people get off iTunes or that version is advantaged over the album track in some way.
   
   
   
   
7. Policy of Truth -- Time 4:55 -- Traffic 199
   A bit too herky-jerky to be really fun.
   
   
   
   
8. Blue Dress -- Time 5:42 -- Traffic 119
   Another good practice song like Waiting for the Night.  It's nice and slow and low traffic and there's absolutely acres of time at the end.
   
   
   
   
9. Clean -- Time 5:28 -- Traffic 147
   I tend not to look at the overall map and just go by the song, and always think this one is closer to ending than it really is -- I'd start to wrap up blocks for a clean finish, and suddenly a whole 'nother set is coming my way.
   
   
   
   

Solar-Powered Microhouse

We've seen this at the Farmer's Market (which is also in City Hall Park).  It's really too bad they don't actually have someone living in the house for the duration of the exhibition.  That would make for a more convincing demonstration, though getting the permits might have been dicey.


Part of me thinks this would be a neat solution for graduate student housing, especially at places like Stanford, where the housing is really expensive.  Part of me thinks that it's one thing to have a building to live in that costs less than a small car, and quite another to have a safe and secure place to put it.

2009 MLB Awards : NL Cy Young

A couple weeks ago, I thought this was going to come down to two pairs of teammates: Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright, and Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain.  However, Cain pitched himself out of contention by giving up at least 4ER in three consecutive starts (all Giants losses while the team was fighting to stay with Colorado), while Javier Vazquez sneaked into the conversation down the stretch.

Why wouldn't I just give it to Carpenter?  Well, he's not going to reach 200IP because he missed several starts, and his ratio of strikeouts to innings pitched is less than impressive.  If he won, he would be the first starting pitcher to win the Cy Young with fewer than 150 strikeouts since Drabek and Welch in 1990**.  Not good precedents.  As for the others:

• Lincecum is still the alpha dog (if I could choose one pitcher for game 7 of the WS, I'd choose him), and was arguably better this year than last, except in wins and losses.  Giving him a second consecutive Cy Young would be perfectly reasonable.
  
  
• Vazquez was #2 in strikeouts and has a much better SO/BB ratio.  Vazquez's candidacy actually weakens Lincecum's in my mind because he, like Lincecum, pitched really well to help drive a team into playoff contention, even if they fell short.  (yes, his teammate Jurrjens has a lower ERA than Vazquez, but his strikeout to walk ratio and average game score are atrocious; Jurrjens' ERA feels more like a probabilistic anomaly than real improvement as a pitcher)
  
  
• Wainwright has a shot at 20 wins, led the league in IP, hit 200 SO, is top-5 in ERA, and was the ace and workhorse for the Cardinals while Carpenter was out.  

I'd be happy with any of them winning.  Can we give it to Carpenter and Wainwright as a tandem?


** I'm ignoring Cone's strikeout total of 132 in the shortened 1994 season.  Pro-rate that to a full season and he reaches 150.  Interestingly, that same year Maddux (the NL Cy Young winner) had 156 strikeouts because he reached 200IP in just 25 starts !!!